You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
