do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
