i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
