i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
