She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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