problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
