The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
