Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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