my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I think weed is turning my hair brown
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Two words: nipple clamps
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