idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
