woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize