I love black thongs
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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