I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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