My friends, they love my intelligence
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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