Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
