I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
