Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
