As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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