he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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