I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
