More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
