I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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