I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize