4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I want to stick my p in your. b.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
There r osticjed everywhere
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
