you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
