everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
