She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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