How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
NoShamevember. You game?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
