she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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