I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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