You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
