I think i peed on brittanys purse
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Randomize
