dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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