just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
