thus making me awesome and them whores
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
