I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
It's not a walk of shame if you run
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize