Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Soap is not a condiment
I think my vagina is haunted
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I will be naked everywhere
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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