I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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