eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
