she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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