Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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