I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize