K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
