My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
