isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
