Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
