Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
