I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
