I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
