Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
