I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
