yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
