So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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