i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
