During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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