That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
