you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
