hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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