but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
